Tina's Top Ten "Shut up and Sing" Shut up and sling it should have been titled and it is far more Golden than the Girls...............5 Kisses "Half Nelson" This move was so popular at my prom.................5 Kisses "The Devil wears Prada" So do I. That was redundant ...........5 Kisses "Little Miss Sunshine" Wow, that's me in the morning. Yes sireeee....5 Kisses "Borat" Oh my, that rat, Borat, that's what my husband said to me when we first met.. Great line... "Hello,very nice. How Much?"....5 KISSES "INFAMOUS" the Capote movie you should see...5 Kisses "Departed" some days I wish I was...........5 Kisses "Blood Diamond" my husband could relate to this title......5 Kisses "United 93" Something the award givers are not....WAKE UP.....5 Kisses "The Queen" King of the movies this year...............5 Kisses honorable mention "Happy Feet" that's what I had for 3 days after seeing this great animated gem........5 KISSES "The Good Shepherd" was in the fields too long.........3 Kisses "DreamGirls" was a nightmare........2 Kisses "Pursuit of Happyness" led me to a new road with a map........4 Kisses "The Holiday" HEY!!! I want to go where they're going........4 Kisses "Apocalypto" hey, let's get out the weed whacker.......4 Kisses "Night at the Museum" ?................3 Kisses "Charlotte's Web " spins your hands right into the Kleenex box.....4 Kisses |
BORAT: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan (R)
This movie relieved me and I jumped for joy that I am so close to my brothers, once again to be soooo acceptable - while I find it totally hedonistically correct in humor for Borat (Sacha Baron Cohen) to make fun of Jews and comedy. I find it a fine line about him stepping on the face of comedy. Pam Anderson, who plays herself, lends no two surprises, but being socially backwards means I can start having glorious cocktail parties once again, and ethnic jokes to become the norm. How many Jews will it take to make this movie a box office smash? None: the gentiles will go to the theater, the Jews own it.
4.5 Kisses for Borat as 5 would give him an Oscar and that's impossible.
Marie Antoinette
Well, history repeats itself once again. This time, HRH Sofia Coppola (director and screenwriter) and Columbia Pictures were beheaded before the public. And what a slow beheading it was. It took as long to get thru this picture as the 18th century did. But at least the 18th Century was far more rich with stories, as this movie was "Lost in Translation". I am sure The Bold and the Beautiful (daytime soap opera) are thrilled to know that their storylines travel faster. AND it's a half-hour show, more in depth, but just as pretty!!
14 year old Austrian Princess Marie-Antoinette (who I was named after, but my mother and father forgot to have it jotted down on the birth certificate) -- played by Kirstin Dunst -- plods to France to marry Dauphin, Louis XVI (Jason Schwartzman) and the rest of the movie is then rescued by the only two who were not decapitated: the costume designer and the guy who brought lunch to the set. Let them eat cake, at home. Wait for the DVD to get to the stores. Which will be faster than tickets sales in the theater. As I now have released my fair subjects (you) from torture, you may thank me later. I bid you all a sad farewell. 1 Kiss.
Au Renoir. Oh oops, revoir. Tina O
MAN OF THE YEAR
Jester of Justice. Yes, Robin Williams - as Tom Dobbs, a Jon Stewart type comic with his own TV talk show about politics with pontificated puns. Through a Rocky J Squirrel and Bullwinkle audience fanfare, Dobbs' polyester coattails melted with his comedic convictions and he deliriously decides that YES.... he will run for President of the United States.
Christopher Walken plays Jack Manken - an oversmoking, talks-too-much manager about being funny. Vote now, because at one time, he does get funny, about how to be funny, but not soon enough. One thing you should never talk about in a comedy is about being funny. That wasn't funny.
With an evil computer corporation casting its light on the evils of our reality in Florida's foibles in the last election, Jeff Goldblum's new electronic voting system is about the bottom line and no one gets the last line. Note: this could have been a truly inspired "saved the country" classic spoof, with Robin's comedic, recycled, true beliefs of America, lesbians and high school dating dialogue.
So, as we sigh, knowing that the truth prevails, it did, but only in the movie. I am running next year. No, not for President, just running. I need to lose 5 pounds.
3 out of 5 Kisses... because I cannot give up on America. Or Robin Williams.
THE DEPARTED
In “The Departed,” the camera work, editing and cutting was served up to us faster than a meal served at a Benihana's Japanese Restaurant.
The camera got so low to the ground I felt like I could look up someone's skirt but that doesn't interest me. Today, anyway. The fast pace and a feeling of urgency more than they had to be also made me feel like I had to go the ladies room when I didn't have to.
Each Scorcese film comes star-loaded, especially this one -- with Leonardo DeCaprio, Jack Nicholson, Matt Damon, Alec Baldwin and Mark Wahlberg, and no, Jessica Simpson is not in this movie. The fear in this lightning striking crime film is that it would be a crime if all these talented stars end up on the Hollywood Squares. NOT... It's a wonder the director can bear the weight of all the butter I smeared on my popcorn because I got so excited to see all these boys on the screen. I screemed 5 Kisses for this hot shot cryptic crime film.
5 Kisses boys... see you on the red carpet. Love, Tina O.
EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH
This just in: Tina O was spotted giving directions to a homeless person in Beverly Hills. She sent the tattered man via cab to the Century City theater, where the new movie "Employee of the Month" just opened with Jessica Simpson and Dane Cook. She said "watch this movie and if these people can get a job you can too."
Tina gave this film 2 out of 5 Kisses and a job training course at Walmart, because that would be more entertaining.